To make it to a Darwin Award, you actually have to achieve death.
The occasion and manner of the expiry, and the scale of stupidity in achieving that altered state, are the key measures here - the KPIs if you like.
No expiry, no Darwin Award. Doesn't matter if you lose an eyeball, end up with a limb in a tree or a partially crushed testicle: no death, no cigar from Mr Darwin.
There are lots of contenders though - those who try, those who go the extra risible yard in placing themselves in oblivious but mortal risk, only to fail on that last key measure.
Like these eight (or is it nine) brain-surgeons and their twin-turbo, VW-engined Trike.
Amazingly, despite the level of danger should all the forces only loosely contained on this dyno suddenly release, these eight failed to draw a single drop of blood, much less the loss of a limb.
Even the chain, lying loosely on the floor, failed to find a candidate.
You might otherwise call this a lesson in 'How Not To Use A Dyno'.