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The Rush Report: Car Stuff… Kind Of

Elliot Rush deconstructs the news that didn’t quite make the news last week.  It's satire, tread carefully. MORE: Introducing, The Rush Report Sea cucumbers and niche marketing The pearl fish lives in the arse of a sea cucumbe


Elliot Rush deconstructs the news that didn’t quite make the news last week. 

It's satire, tread carefully. MORE: Introducing, The Rush Report

Sea cucumbers and niche marketing

The pearl fish lives in the arse of a sea cucumber. You might not have known that. 

The ravishing Hermione, who is thin-skinned in such matters, finds it “disgusting”.

The fishy chap in question pokes around until it locates the arse region, then, when the sea cucumber breathes (what, you didn’t know it breathes through its anus?), ‘schlick!’, it bolts inboard in the blink of a proctologist’s eye. 

That vacant expression that sea cucumbers carry around is actually a cucumbery way of showing a state of being permanently startled.

We can probably all think of at least one reason why taking up lodgings in an anus is not for everybody.  But try telling the pearl fish. 

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