The British motoring press wait on new model releases like saltwater crocodiles. They are every bit as reasonable and forgiving. They are like that, paradoxically, because Poms love their cars in a wholly unique way. And love – passion – can hurt; it can exalt and disappoint in equal measure.

All those defining British marques - like Aston Martin, TVR, Jaguar, Bentley, Rolls, Lotus, Morgan, Rover, Gilbern, Jensen, MG, Triumph, Austin Healey, even the AC Ace - are the products of eccentric passion. This is why they can so spectacularly succeed, and equally so spectacularly fail.

Somewhere, in the 60s and 70s, at around the time British Leyland thought it was a good idea to give the world the Austin Allegro, the English motor industry completely lost the plot. And stayed lost for decades.

That’s why that wonderful lunatic Clarkson is the way he is. He, like every other Pom motoring ‘rotter’, has cut his teeth writing about an industry that has serially underperformed and, one by one, lost the crown jewels of a once mighty industry. It has been a tale of tragedy that has baffled, enraged and frustrated both the motoring public and the British motoring press.

You can forgive them, then, a soupçon or two of cynicism in matters automotive.

Clarkson, well, he’s now head croc. He chews ‘em up and spits them further than anyone. Putting something underpowered, stupid, or poorly designed on Clarkson’s plate is like tying a lamb to a Kakadu riverbank. You know it will be eaten, violently, and bits of skin and entrails will be left hanging from its teeth.

This part of the homily now brings us to the Ford Mondeo range.

What, you may be wondering, did the head crocodile have to say when Ford UK plated up its current mid-size offering? “The Mondeo is a fantastic car. It’s practical, good choice of engines, very comfy and great to drive,” quoth he.

It’s been a recurring theme. Clarkson again on the 2.5 Turbo: “I must also say that it’s exceptionally good looking… and the news gets better still when you go for a drive…”

The cold black hearts of his scribbling colleagues in the UK and Europe have been equally enthused. So when the Mondeo arrived here last year (unveiled at the Sydney Motor Show), there was a fair degree of expectation among motoring writers and Ford watchers. They have not been disappointed.