2009 Lexus IS F Road Test Review

Take one smallish sedan, drop a thumping 5.0 litre V8 in the snout, give it hard-core handling and tough, out-there style... been done before? Yup. But Lexus does it again and gives us its own howling 'Hound of the Baskervilles', the IS F.

It can be an exercise in futility splitting hairs over the performance margins of premium performance cars.

It's a bit like blokes standing around talking about the size of their dicks. As if there is something to be concluded from the information that is volunteered in these manly discussions. Wide? Thick? Yeah... good, good, huh-huh... great.

But you and I, we both know that it's not the implement. No, it's the expertise of the user behind the blade that determines its effectiveness. A sleek, racy implement used ham-fistedly (is that a verb?) will be beaten all-ends-up by a 'lesser tool' in expert hands. Or so I've been advised.

Now this brings me neatly to the Lexus IS F.

In the showroom, it's lined up against BMW's M-Series. This may not have been the intent of Lexus (nah, I’m kidding myself, it probably was), but it has certainly been where the motoring media and enthusiasts have focused discussion. Is it as good as the M3? Is it as quick in a no-holds barred smoke-off? Who's the winner, and who's the loser?

That's the way most of the discussion has gone. And that’s what His Royal Rabbit-ness, the barking-mad Jeremy Clarkson attempted to settle on Top Gear.

But does it matter? Isn't this debate a bit like 'dick-talk'? Each is such a riotously powerful and competent performance machine that it is only at the margins - at the extreme edge of performance driving - that one holds an edge over the other, only to be shaded somewhere else.

And, if we had the necessary pfennigs and were to put, say, a Lexus IS F in the garage, most of us will get nowhere near its potential, let alone that of an M3. Ok, maybe we’ll stretch it out occasionally, the odd furtive excursion... you know how it goes, the quick hard stamp on the loud pedal, hold onto your hats for two, three, maybe even ten seconds, howl into licence-shredding territory, then back hard on the brakes and a few nervous glances over the shoulder and in the rear view mirror… ok, all cool.

That’s how it is for most of us who love our performance cars. We don’t have an airstrip handy with a couple of hundred metres of lateral run off to catch us if we over-cook it. And unless we’re in a car club, we’ll likely never (or rarely at most) turn a wheel in anger on the race-track.

But by Bardot’s beard we love a thumping kilowatt – especially one with the thunderous howl of a high performance V8 behind it. That’s why, if you spend just a few minutes behind the wheel of the IS F, you will be smitten.

Few V8s make a noise like this V8. It defies description: put the pedal to the floor and it gathers itself with an outraged bellow rising rapidly to the sweetest-singing yowling wail. If anything, it is a little reminiscent of a highly-tuned Windsor V8 of a decade or more back.

It is absolutely intoxicating and heart-thumpingly fast (and I mean f-a-s-t.) Lean hard on its performance, throw it through a few curves, whip it back through the gears – one, two, three, four - then floor it and it’s like being shot from a cannon. Yup, this is one mad hell-hound under the whip.

Interestingly though, when you’re not wielding the leather, the IS F can be as docile as a floppy puppy. And as compliant and as easy to live with. That is also one of its strengths.

So let’s untangle the elements of this car: where is it strongest? Why would you buy one, why would you not?

A fastidious, premium interior

It is hard to not sound a little stupid describing a Lexus interior. Everything is so astonishingly-well put together, with such premium materials and such finicky attention to detail, that you end up sounding like a women’s fashion magazine: “Oh and the seats dahlings, they’re exquisite and such gorgeous supple leather…”

But that’s how it is. For fit and finish and quality of materials, Lexus is the benchmark. The seats in the IS F are sensational. The leather, soft and luxuriant, feels like it has been removed from the flawless pink cheeks of new-born deer.

The metal finishes are equally striking. There is a glassy epoxy-sheen over the metal of the console, repeated in the doors, and it looks fabulous; as do the electric blue gauges, drilled metal pedals and highly polished shifter. The neat recessed information display, the switch-gear and console is as good as you’ll find. It all ‘fits’ and it all ‘works’.

Even the headlining (who notices headlining?) and the rubber edging, everywhere you look reeks of quality.

If you’re going to spend more than $100k, then this is how you want a car to look and feel. It is also loaded: sensational Mark Levinson surround-sound audio system, satellite radio, iPod integration, park assist, sat nav, back-up camera and Bluetooth capability. There are also air-bags everywhere and all those safety acronyms that keep the nannies happy.

Well, ok, if I have to pick something I’m not crazy about, it’s the heavy black-all-over dash… there’s too much uninterrupted black in it, and it’s too big and organic, like it has been carved out of a huge block of cheese (er… that would be black cheese).

Funnily enough, proving my sense of taste and style disappeared into my bottom at around the time of the first Punic Wars, others in the TMR team loved it.

But style differences aside, one thing is beyond argument: for fastidious attention to detail, the interior of the Lexus is, simply, exquisite. It’s a Lexus thing. If you want to be pampered like an Oil Sheik, buy a Lexus. I can’t fault it so I’ll just shut up now.